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POSTED ON Jan 1, 2024 6:59:09 GMT

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they don't often get days like this. especially not now, with both of their avatarships looming over them like unpleasant memories that are better left unchecked. but ever since the events of that battle, jayden's new avatar powers have begun to stabilize. at least for a little bit — enough, at least, that he can take a reprieve from his endless stream of medical check-ups, work, and other such activities to make time for the one person that has always stayed by his side. no matter what.

[break][break] "ptichka," he greets the other warmly, tugging on his gloves.

[break][break] the winter weather does nothing to his freezing body, but it is - at least - to keep up appearances as they walk through the bay. the admin offers out an arm for the other.

[break][break] "are you ready?"

[break][break] to try to have one moment of escape, of reprieve, in the neverending chaos that was their lives.

[break][break] they were going christmas tree shopping.

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TAG WITH @fern

POSTED ON Jan 20, 2024 0:44:22 GMT

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It has been far too long since they were provided the chance to just be. It is something Fern has sorely missed, even though they know it cannot be helped. Still, it makes them wish that they could snatch up jayden cross and steal him away. To anywhere, so long as it is somewhere else.[break][break]
But no, they must sadly accept domestic outings for the time being. How sad - granted, Fern is pleased to have Jayden all to themself no matter the setting or situation.[break][break]
Though he's unaffected by the chill, it draws a bodily shiver from Fern and they are admittedly quite glad for the layers they piled on under their jacket. "Ready as ever, duck." they chime merrily.[break][break]
He is cold too, but that doesn't stop them from twining their arms together and leaning close as they begin the trek toward the tree farm.[break][break]
"We have to make sure we find an extra fluffy one," they declare with great certainty.

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POSTED ON Feb 9, 2024 17:19:58 GMT

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"an extra fluffy one?" jayden echoes.

[break][break] admittingly, he does not know much about christmas tree shopping. he himself has never had the interest for it. in years past, he has always bought the simplest and most economical tree of his choosing. this year, because he spends it with fern, however he has made sure to do his research. to see the different types of trees that exist - cedar, pine, spruce.

[break][break] none of the books had said fluffy.

[break][break] his nose wrinkles as he tries to consider a fluffy tree in their home. what would that even look like?

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POSTED ON Mar 3, 2024 23:53:17 GMT

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“Yep!” they confirm brightly, arms stretching out to indicate big. “We don’t want it to be a sad, skinny tree, y’know?”[break][break]
The ornaments would totally overpower it then. And the last thing Fern wants is for an encumbered looking Christmas tree that droops in the middle of the living room.[break][break]
“I used to do this with Da every year,” they say fondly. Fondly—before they catch themself in the abrupt reminder of their father and the illusions in the Interdream mist. The pain and fear of it. They should be long over it by now— it was over a month ago.[break][break]
But all that blood lingers in their mind. Their dreams.[break][break]
Fern shakes the thought loose—refocusing on fluffy trees and the sharp scent of pine. And the fuzzy warm feelings that being here with Jayden brings.

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POSTED ON Mar 6, 2024 4:48:19 GMT

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he has no idea what they mean. small and skinny? did trees have such variety as humans and pokemon did? he supposed it was possible. as a child, his mother had always been the one to decorate their house — not, of course, that the estate had been particularly festive to begin with.

[break][break] even so, he is just happy to see their face light up. it warms his chest in a way that he can't explain, and with all the events of the last several weeks, it is something that he can find ease in.

[break][break] "tell me more," he says softly, when they bring him up. "about your da."

[break][break] they hadn't talked about it, what happened in the interdream mist. the sudden appearance of their da — or the ugly thing that the mist had conjured in representation of him.

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POSTED ON Mar 8, 2024 1:23:00 GMT

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Something in their posture stiffens up when he asks the gentle question because they are unable to skirt away from it or easily change the subject. And they would like to, they would very much like to.[break][break]

Talking about their da brings a flutter of fear to their heart. That right now while they are here, he is not okay in Stow-on-Side. Even if they know this is not the case, they fear it. They fear harm coming his way. Even more so, they fear his disappointment.[break][break]

They stay away, and only contact him from a distance, because they don’t know what he will think of what they have become. Fern was not born into this as he was.[break][break]

Rocket has always been their choice, and undoubtedly not the one their da would make for his child.[break][break]

But they can’t bear to say these things out loud. Or tell Jayden that they still smell the heavy stench of blood if they think of him for too long because the thoughts turn back to the mist. Without Tapu Koko’s presence here, they are a little less bold and uninhibited. They cannot distract themself from their own mind.[break][break]

Instead, a mild stalling tactic— “What is it that you’d like to know?” Fern forces their posture to relax, but their arm still curls tighter though his, pulling themself into a closer huddle against his side.

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POSTED ON Apr 17, 2024 14:52:31 GMT

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fern delaney has always been good at running away. jayden knows this, because it was one of the first times that they had ever met, having caught the other in a jail cell and been the reason that he'd been able to get free.

[break][break] and the last thing that jayden ever wanted was to chain them, yet, he could not erase the ache in his chest at wanting to know more. he thought about the things that Yumi Hasegawa had said to him — just ask, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do so.

[break][break] he squeezed his hand gently from where he was connected to the other, tethering them back down to earth.

[break][break] "do you miss him?"

[break][break] not all rockets missed their fathers. jayden knew his own relationship with his was complicated enough.

[break][break] but jayden knew that fern was one of the rockets that cared deeply for his family, even if they'd had to leave him behind.

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POSTED ON Jun 30, 2024 2:19:23 GMT

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they find it difficult to speak about their da, even with jayden. fern trusts him, but they have always held their cards closer to their chest than anyone ever realizes.[break][break]
they are bright and sociable. feeding just enough information to those around them to satiate the need - never realizing that they actually don't know much about fern at all.[break][break]
but the dream mist visions haunt them and fern can't outrun them. especially not when jayden was there, witness to it all.[break][break]
fern sighs, their eyes falling shut. "i miss him all of the time." their sweet, gentle da, who they are convinced they will only ever disappoint and let down.

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POSTED ON Jul 21, 2024 18:09:11 GMT

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fingers tighten around theirs, expression soft and tender.

[break][break] while fern has always been more socialable than him, bright and intoxicating, like a star gleaming high above, jayden's own emotions have always been cold and distant at best. at the very least, when it came to anyone but them. but there is something about fern delaney being in his life that has always left him wanting more — sharing more, knowing more.

[break][break] he thinks about the word that Yumi Hasegawa had said to him so long ago.

[break][break] just ask.

[break][break] "what do you miss the most?"

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POSTED ON Aug 22, 2024 4:54:08 GMT

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It would be easy to brush off his question. To deflect and speak about anything but their da, and what they keep close to their chest. But Fern finds that they wish to speak of him. They decide to trust their partner with this hidden piece of their heart.[break][break]
“Just about everything,” they admit, their shoulders rising and falling in a shrug. “My da is kind—he humored so much nonsense from me, and I suppose I took that for granted quite a bit.”[break][break]
Idly, their hands twist into shapes as they speak. An old habit coming back after so many years of using it. “Da can’t speak,” they add. “For a long time, I had to translate for him.” They had had been close, bonded by the fact that it was just them after their mam died.[break][break]
“Never slowed him down a bit, though.” They smile, the expression small and gentle, “and he never let that hold me back, either.”[break][break]
They don’t voice the hidden fear—the thought that if he knew what they’d made of themself, no matter how successful, he would be disappointed. Their da had always supported Fern, and had always humored their mischief.[break][break]
But what if they had crossed a line they can’t come back from, without knowing they’ve even crossed it? If there is a person to make Fern regret, it is their da, and the fear of him turning them away.

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POSTED ON Sept 16, 2024 18:14:22 GMT

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it is a foreign thing — both hearing them speak so fondly about a person that he does not know, and also the flutter-stutter of his heartbeat. it reminds him of the way that he had felt when he'd first seen that all-too-smug grin of a childish fern, staring back at him.

[break][break] what would have it been like to meet them like that, back then? would they have gotten along as children? would they have bullied him, the same way Chu-e Choi had?

[break][break] "why don't you call - "

[break][break] ah.

[break][break] something sobering overcomes him, destitute and understanding all at once. jayden cannot reach his parents because they are dead. fern cannot reach his father, even though he is alive.

[break][break] it is morose.

[break][break] his hand closes around the other in a silently affectionate gesture, thumb brushing across the back of their hand.

[break][break] "he seems wonderful," the admin murmurs instead. among pretty christmas lights and sweet-smelling coffee drinks, he glances down at them, wanting nothing more than to kiss that sorrow away. "i would love to meet him one day."

[break][break] "we could bring him here."

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